!*$&)*^%#@!&%^!!!!!!

Well, after yet another long slumber, I'm back again. I didn't forget I had one of these, and I'd thought of it most days...but I just couldn't bring myself to it. Somehow I was convinced that I had deeper issues in my own head to sort out, and that blogging wouldn't help. I don't have a very difficult life, but blessing or curse, I tend to be affected by things a lot more than most...at least much more than just about everyone I know. Supposedly I'm strong, but when it rains, it pours, I suppose. I don't let people in very easily, and I usually disregard things...but when I really take the time out to really care about someone....well, I really, really mean it when I do. I'm not two-faced, and I can't deal with people who are. I don't have that kind of time to waste. Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I choose my friends wisely. Yeah, it doesn't always work out, but when I consider you a good friend, that means a lot more than just being someone that I can usually tolerate.


ANYWAY....

I explained myself there because I've been wracking my brain lately, and everything really fell through for me on Tuesday.


Up until 6th grade, I was in a school that consisted of two classes a grade, Kindergarten to 5th grade, and about 20-30 kids in each class. In elementary school, only people from my little insignificant, pathetic excuse for a town went there. I always had a "best friend" of sorts, and my current "best friend" who I've been friends with for a long time does live in my town, about 3 blocks away. But, overall, I never got along very well with the kids in my town...I was, for lack of a better word, "misunderstood"? So, when I got to the middle school with about 1,000 kids and three other larger towns merging with us, it was a new experience. Through that experience, I found most of my now closest friends by the end of 6th grade year, and since then, not much has changed between us. When I left the middle school this past June, I lost a few close friends to another public high school, and another couple to private Catholic high schools...but, lucky me, the majority of my close friends were to go to high school with me since they conveniently live within the same area which goes to my school.



welllll....


Our high school now has approximately 1600 kids. It's a fairly big school, two floors...but not that big. Well, y'know that other, more suckish, further away school I mentioned that a few close friends go to? They have about 1200. People on the school board now seem to believe it might be a "good idea" to take the people from this town in which most of my closest friends live-those who are not only coming in as freshman next year, but also CURRENT freshman(that's us)-and dragging them to that OTHER school for the last three years of their high school lives.


...look, I can live without my friends always by my side. In fact, one thing about me is that I adore my alone time...I know way too many people who are too insecure to deal by themselves....but, like I said, I choose my friends wisely. And, I will be so heartbroken if I don't get to see them. Yeah, if they're good friends, I'll see them...but, we're busy for high schoolers. Most of my friends and I all participate in something...sports, music, whatever....and most of us are fairly driven and into our education. I already have enough trouble seeing my "other school" friends...I do, but it's tough and confusing, and I barely get to see them. So, there is a verrrrry, verrrrry good chance that this may happen by next year, and it really hit me the other day. I was banking on having them until the end of high school. I'm not intending on staying where I am for much longer than I have to, but the close friends I have are genuinely important to me, in a practically family-esque way....I wasn't expecting to be with them forever, but I was banking on it for the next three years of my life. I'll miss them so much if they do this. There's a town meeting about it tonight...I guess we'll see.



I hate venting to the world about stupid crap, but I guess I just needed to get that out.


There's other stuff going on in my life right now, but this is the main thing that has me worried at this moment.



If you made it this far, thanks for reading <3 ahahaha, maybe now I'll start blogging, in a non-worried/sad/concerned way.

Least Favorite Word of the Day: REDISTRICTING.